Things I Learned Growing Up That Maybe I Wish I Hadn't
That Expressing Joy or Sorrow in the Local Church is Inappropriate
Growing up, I spent 17 years in the Catholic denomination. I was baptized into Sovereign Grace Baptist Church of Wake Forest, North Carolina in 2008. In both experiences it was exceedingly rare to find brethren who intentionally expressed their emotions, pains, and needs with those around them. Today, in fact, it is common for enemies of the Lord’s church to perpetuate the accusation that we are hypocrites. Is this assessment too far off? It is based primarily on an observation that Christians act as though their lives are perfect and sinless.
Anyone who is truly saved could tell you that the above evaluation of Christian life couldn’t be further from the truth. We are not sinlessly perfect because we are saved. In fact, we are not sinless nor perfect at all! We find ourselves in the center of the devil’s sights from morning until evening. While we rest our heads at night, we still find the devil targeting our thoughts, preying on our children, and sabotaging our homes. The saved of God are under constant attack from without and within. Despite this, it is particularly noteworthy that this pressure isn't worn outwardly. On the contrary, even when we are amongst our brethren— who are experiencing similar troubles— we appear to be stoic, calm and pristine.
It can be argued that expressing our rawest emotions in front of our siblings in Christ is the MOST appropriate thing we can do. Who better to break down in front of with tears of joy when a loved one, whom we have prayed with and for over a span of years, reveals that they have been saved? To whom should we run when the banks have come a-calling for the last time, and we are about to lose our home? Who is to comfort us when we have lost a parent in this life?
The situations used as examples above are likely real experiences that you or someone you know have actually gone through. They are trials. It is not merely that “the devil is after you”. Beloved who created the devil? Was he not designed with a purpose? That purpose, in fact, is to prove the elect of God. This is why we feel his most intense persuasions AFTER we have been saved. He has been commissioned to attempt to pull you away from a holy life—and he does so most of the time by appealing to the flesh you already have:
James 4:5-10 “Do ye think that the scripture saith in vain, The spirit that dwelleth in us lusteth to envy? But he giveth more grace. Wherefore he saith, God resisteth the proud, but giveth grace unto the humble. Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Draw nigh to God, and he will draw nigh to you. Cleanse your hands, ye sinners; and purify your hearts, ye double minded. Be afflicted, and mourn, and weep: let your laughter be turned to mourning, and your joy to heaviness. Humble yourselves in the sight of the Lord, and he shall lift you up.”
Through these tests, we learn that we have an Advocate with our Heavenly Father. During these trials, we find that Advocate, the Lord Jesus Christ, has built an “Inn” for which we are able to go and be uplifted when we are down. He knew we'd need comforting while we are mourning and charging when we are depleted.
Luke 10:25-37 “And, behold, a certain lawyer stood up, and tempted him, saying, Master, what shall I do to inherit eternal life? -- He said unto him, What is written in the law? how readest thou? And he answering said, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy strength, and with all thy mind; and thy neighbour as thyself. And he said unto him, Thou hast answered right: this do, and thou shalt live. But he, willing to justify himself, said unto Jesus, And who is my neighbour? And Jesus answering said, A certain man went down from Jerusalem to Jericho, and fell among thieves, which stripped him of his raiment, and wounded him, and departed, leaving him half dead. And by chance there came down a certain priest that way: and when he saw him, he passed by on the other side. And likewise a Levite, when he was at the place, came and looked on him, and passed by on the other side. But a certain Samaritan, as he journeyed, came where he was: and when he saw him, he had compassion on him, And went to him, and bound up his wounds, pouring in oil and wine, and set him on his own beast, and brought him to an inn, and took care of him. And on the morrow when he departed, he took out two pence, and gave them to the host, and said unto him, Take care of him; and whatsoever thou spendest more, when I come again, I will repay thee. Which now of these three, thinkest thou, was neighbour unto him that fell among the thieves? And he said, He that shewed mercy on him. Then said Jesus unto him, Go, and do thou likewise.”
This illustration expresses what a neighbor does—specifically, the characteristics that make one neighborly. The good Samaritan pictures the Lord Jesus. It is He, not the overly religious, that went to the wounded man. We are to be like Jesus at every opportunity. Where did He take Him?
Today, we would take someone in this condition to a hospital, but think for a moment of all this man would have required. There was more than just the physical wounds. This man would have been emotionally shaken. How could he make the trip between Jerusalem and Jericho again? He would likely no longer make eye contact with those walking by him. If he were conscious while lying on the side of the road as the Levite and Priest passed him by, he probably has some unhealthy thoughts about folks who claim to serve God. And, what if he were taking this trip for work? He may have lost his job as a result of missing work. Can a hospital truly care for all the needs of this man?
The Lord took him to a place that was equipped to care for his wounds— physical and otherwise. He charged them to “Take care of him” and said that the debt would be His own. He also stated that He was coming back, Praise God! Beloved, when the Lord returns, He is coming for His church first. The Inn in our story is the church. If you have been faithful after salvation to find and join one of the Lord’s true New Testament churches, you are the Inn!
Philippians 4:1-9 “Therefore, my brethren dearly beloved and longed for, my joy and crown, so stand fast in the Lord, my dearly beloved. I beseech Euodias, and beseech Syntyche, that they be of the same mind in the Lord. And I intreat thee also, true yokefellow, help those women which laboured with me in the gospel, with Clement also, and with other my fellowlabourers, whose names are in the book of life. Rejoice in the Lord alway: and again I say, Rejoice. Let your moderation be known unto all men. The Lord is at hand. Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God. And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things. Those things, which ye have both learned, and received, and heard, and seen in me, do: and the God of peace shall be with you.”
I have often thought of what it might have been like to be one of the early churches and host our brother Paul or his “fellowlabourers”. Paul was known for not putting his personal needs on the churches, but many of us would argue that if there was a need for the work he was called to do for the Lord, he had every right to ask the churches to attend to it. In fact, the church he was writing to in the above text had sent a brother to bless Paul, and this was part of his response.
What if after one of his many shipwrecks Brother Paul came to your church? His leg is broken, he smells as though he hasn’t had a bath in a month, there is no money in his pockets, and he is incredibly hungry. Would you tend to his wound? Perhaps offer him your own bath? Would you do these things because you have an estimate of Paul’s value to God or because it is the right thing to do?
Early in the ministry I was exposed to the concept of “robbing others of a blessing”. This lesson was actually in the form of an rebuke, as I wasn’t asking others to pray for me nor alerting my fellow church members to the needs of my family. Looking back at that season now, I can clearly see that it was because I was too proud to ask for help— I figured these were just my burdens to bear. I was a hypocrite!
Please don’t misread me…we aren’t asked to sponge off of the church, . The church is to be exercising discernment in regards to what she has been entrusted with. Additionally, if you and I are called to be Christ-like in all things, then we are to be willing to ask others to “watch and pray” with us as He did in the garden. We are to ask our brethren to care for our widows and family members as He did from the cross for His mother. Most importantly, we are to be willing to respond to the needs of those around us!
As the Lord’s church in Tulsa, we are to be willing to get dirty when called upon. I’m sure the wounded man that was brought to the inn that day bled on the clothes of those helping to care for him. He may have tracked in some dirt and stained the carpets. It was a less-than-perfect lamb that the Good Shepherd had hoisted upon His mighty shoulders that day—he was worth the effort to God and thus should be to us.
Dear friend if you are reading this and in a season of struggle, please ignore the reputation the Lord’s church may have in your community; go to her hurting and bleeding! Call for her to be what she was born to be! You will not find aid in this world— only temporary pain killers that addict you to a much larger problem. Go to the Lord’s church. It is only at the feet of Jesus that you can truly be made whole!
Dear church member who might be reading this. If your church is not as the Inn, you are failing in your responsibilities to that local community. You do NOT get to choose what kind of members you have, the Holy Spirit will see to that work! Love on everyone within your reach, and trust the rest to Him!