Things I Learned Growing Up That Maybe I Wish I Hadn't
That I Would One Day Have to Decide What ONE Thing I Would be When I Grew Up
“What do you want to be when you grow up?” That awful question that brings a crushing end to childhood in the 2.5 seconds it took to hear it. I am confident that we have all heard this question and now I can even say that, to my shame, I have asked it of my children. It was received with a look of terror that clearly expressed they had never even thought about it. This quickly evolved to a look of blame, since we homeschool, that it must somehow be our fault for never giving them the answer to that question.
It’s a very complex question isn’t it? Having grown up in the public school system I remember being taught the answers my whole life so that I would eventually be prepared to fill in the correct bubble (completely with a number 2 pencil mind you) for the corresponding questions on a test. This one question, a very important question as everyone who hears it will indeed grow up and have to answer it, is one that has no definitive answer that can be taught. Does this mean that we have failed as teachers? Was our approach to all of the other questions in life wrong if it left the students incapable of answering this one question?
Here is how I see it: What we should be teaching is how to grow and how to maintain a mindset of continued growth. Once we start teaching our children that they must decide something so paramount as what they should do with the rest of their lives, at an adolescent level, then everything that follows is fixed, rigid and immovable. We have given them the wrong question to be motivated by.
Ironically life itself teaches us that we are going to be hit by the unforeseen over and over again. If we are rigid, the unforeseen will likely cause for us to break. Where do we go when we have lived a rigid plan such as this and life caused for us to fail? When you fall down a ladder, the first thing you typically hit is the very next rung down. If your foot was familiar with it, you may catch yourself, if not then the next thing you hit is the ground.
If we are going through life with a mindset of constant growth, then we can receive the unexpected as the next challenge meant for our good. We have then given ourselves permission to make some mistakes and allowed for the necessary room to learn from it. We aren’t positioned on a precarious ladder, peering down in great fear that we will fall at any given moment. Instead we are braced with three points of contact, with that fourth point always moving toward the goal.
Romans 8:18-30 “For I reckon that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us. For the earnest expectation of the creature waiteth for the manifestation of the sons of God. For the creature was made subject to vanity, not willingly, but by reason of him who hath subjected the same in hope, Because the creature itself also shall be delivered from the bondage of corruption into the glorious liberty of the children of God. For we know that the whole creation groaneth and travaileth in pain together until now. And not only they, but ourselves also, which have the firstfruits of the Spirit, even we ourselves groan within ourselves, waiting for the adoption, to wit, the redemption of our body. For we are saved by hope: but hope that is seen is not hope: for what a man seeth, why doth he yet hope for? But if we hope for that we see not, then do we with patience wait for it. -- Likewise the Spirit also helpeth our infirmities: for we know not what we should pray for as we ought: but the Spirit itself maketh intercession for us with groanings which cannot be uttered. And he that searcheth the hearts knoweth what is the mind of the Spirit, because he maketh intercession for the saints according to the will of God. And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose. For whom he did foreknow, he also did predestinate to be conformed to the image of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brethren. Moreover whom he did predestinate, them he also called: and whom he called, them he also justified: and whom he justified, them he also glorified.”
As we age we are revealed to be a composition or mosaic of our entire life of experiences. No one has ever found at the end of this journey that they had finally arrived at precisely what they set out to be at 15. I was saved at the age of 15. I had (at least) 28 more years that the Lord had intended for me to grow and learn of Him. Did I make some mistakes in that time? ABSOLUTELY!!
In those three decades the Lord has allowed for me to grow, allowing ALL THINGS to work together for my good. In fact, for me, each of those moments have become a series of moral encouragements enabling me to grow in Christ. Each one encouraging me that God will be a part of the next. With a growth mindset, instead of being strapped to a goal, we are able to grow into one.
What are we growing toward? Great question! I think it’s important for us to first ask “By what are we to be measured?” I preached on this recently, you can go listen to the audio of that message HERE if you’d like. The long and short of it can be found in Ephesians 4:11-16 “And he gave some, apostles; and some, prophets; and some, evangelists; and some, pastors and teachers; For the perfecting of the saints, for the work of the ministry, for the edifying [GROWTH or BUILDING"] of the body of Christ: Till we all come in the unity of the faith, and of the knowledge of the Son of God, unto a perfect man, unto the measure of the stature of the fulness of Christ: That we henceforth be no more children, tossed to and fro, and carried about with every wind of doctrine, by the sleight of men, and cunning craftiness, whereby they lie in wait to deceive; But speaking the truth in love, may grow up into him in all things, which is the head, even Christ: From whom the whole body fitly joined together and compacted by that which every joint supplieth, according to the effectual working in the measure of every part, maketh increase of the body unto the edifying of itself in love.”
Paul wrote about this again to the Philippians in Philippians 3:7-14 “But what things were gain to me, those I counted loss for Christ. Yea doubtless, and I count all things but loss for the excellency of the knowledge of Christ Jesus my Lord: for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and do count them but dung, that I may win Christ, And be found in him, not having mine own righteousness, which is of the law, but that which is through the faith of Christ, the righteousness which is of God by faith: That I may know him, and the power of his resurrection, and the fellowship of his sufferings, being made conformable unto his death; If by any means I might attain unto the resurrection of the dead. Not as though I had already attained, either were already perfect: but I follow after, if that I may apprehend that for which also I am apprehended of Christ Jesus. Brethren, I count not myself to have apprehended: but this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before, I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus.” This “mark“ was the finish line, the “why” behind his decision making or growth. Paul was driven by it and any hits he took along the way, anything he may have lost, it did not set him back it only caused to move him forward for he knew his goal was to grow in “the excellency of the knowledge of Christ Jesus” his Lord.
Paul calls for us to have a “mountain faith”. This may sound like a bizarre term so stick with me. By this I do NOT mean a mountain-top faith. Just about anyone can have a mountain-top faith because from the top of the mountain you can see in all directions. You can believe your safe when you can see what you hope in as well as what you may fear (see again that Romans 8 quote from above, specifically verses 24-25).
If you have ever been in the valley of the mountains you know that is a very different experience. We lived in Denver Colorado for a few years and in that time we learned that your weather forecast for the day was really only about 20-30 minutes out. Until the mountains allowed you a glimpse of what was coming, you never really knew whether you needed a raincoat, snow shovel or sunglasses.
Consider also the mountain experience of Abraham (Mt. Moriah) when the Lord called for him in Genesis 22 to take his beloved son Isaac to the mountain and offer him up on the alter. Deliverance surely came, but Abraham was not permitted to see it riding in from a great distance away. In fact he was permitted to journey for three days with the thought that his son was as good as slain. Abraham was later commended as the “father of all them that believe”; a title he had to grow into beloved. He never told anyone as a child this is what he was going to be when he grew up.
In 1 Kings 18 Elijah troubled the 850 prophets before the nation of Israel on Mt Carmel, and in the very next chapter, on Mt. Horeb he finds himself troubled and in need of correction. Waves of change cover us all, but as with Elijah and Abraham, God MUST be the direction that we grow in! Jesus said in Matthew 21:21-22 “…Verily I say unto you, If ye have faith, and doubt not, ye shall not only do this which is done to the fig tree, but also if ye shall say unto this mountain, Be thou removed, and be thou cast into the sea; it shall be done. And all things, whatsoever ye shall ask in prayer, believing, ye shall receive.”
We should not lead our children astray by challenging them to figure out what they are “supposed” to be in this world. This world is not our home, and it’s prince is not our lord! 1 Kings 18:21 “And Elijah came unto all the people, and said, How long halt ye between two opinions? if the LORD be God, follow him: but if Baal, then follow him. And the people answered him not a word.” Don’t teach your children to halt between to decisions, teach them to follow the Lord!